Cry…!

"Kuputro Jayate Kwaichidapi,Kumata Na Bhavati" by Adi Shankara Charya “ --there can be a bad child in this world, but never a bad mother”.

Enough is not enough to talk about you. A great soul, a messenger of god you are mother.

How can I feel this when I was not yours and you were not mine?

Am I unlucky for you? Did you decide I am bad before even introducing me to this world? Why was my birth place garbage? Can you look into my eyes and answer any of my miseries Mother?

My little eyes didn’t see your smiling face, I did not taste the nectar of my life and I remained untouched by you. Was I so filthy Mother?

Have you ever searched for me? Have you ever imagined how I look?

I know that you know my gender but I am unnamed, Mother!!

My scream cannot reach you; my search can’t find you though we might have crossed each other’s way. But, I can imagine you my Mother.

Let me cry my heart out, let me tell you that I am as beautiful as you are, I await your touch, I am not grubby oh!! Mother

Ranju...

Decoding my helmet lock

Enough of a long break to my blog and yes!! I have a story of my own experience. I dint have an eye to see the stories around me as I was real busy in my wedding preparations.

I was crowned a loser this week. List of things lost-

    1.     Point and shoot camera

    2.     Bike keys and expensive papers called money.

I appointed a crew at home to find my point and shoot and the search is still on. The pointer 2 is done and dusted.

Next day, I continued my journey to office with the help of duplicate keys .As I am a sincere kid who abides government rules, I had to get my helmet lock unlocked. And the chronicle of decoding the helmet lock begins. 

The two KEY people in this play of decoding machine should be introduced and these two people are the sweetest and obedient people I have met till date.

      Murthy Sir.

      Gowda Sir.

To make the understanding easier I will use terms as M, G and L (that’s me the loser in this play) going further.

9.45 AM: “L” enters the workstation worried about unlocking her helmet lock. “G” sees “L” in worry and asks the cause of the tension around and explains that he will help in taking the bike to the key maker, unlock the helmet lock and also assures to put a new lock to the helmet.

10 AM: “L” is very happy that she found a solution and gets back to work.

10.15 AM: “G” calls and updates that to break open the helmet lock; the key maker is charging 150 Rs. This tickles the saving brains of “L” as she had already lost some expensive papers; she didn’t want to get into losing some more and instructed “G” to come back.

10.30AM: As “G” was called for some work from other colleague, he passed on the keys to “L” through someone passing by to her work station. “L” was still worried about the decoding machine.

11.00AM: A ray of hope comes to “L” as “M” enters and says that he can cut open the helmet lock and for silly things why go to a key maker?

11.15 AM: “L” is super happy as “M” comes and tells her that the helmet lock is cut open and her helmet is free.

11.15 AM to 6.30 PM-“L” is relieved and happily working.

6.30 PM: The actual play unveils as “L” reaches her bike and finds out that there is no new helmet lock in the bike. “L” calls “G” to make sure no new lock was put and gets to know about the new lock. “L” tries to find this magical lock.

6.45 PM: “L’s” brilliant brain works and thinks back the whole play. 

·        “G” tells the key maker to cut open the old lock for which he was charging 150 Rs but when the key maker heard about putting the new lock, he did not take any money to cut open the old lock.

·        Miscommunication- “L” heard only about the unlocking when “G” called her and she refused to cut the lock, “G” forgot to inform “L” about key maker’s new offer.

·        “G” leaves the helmet in the new lock and hurries to his work, passing on the keys to “L” through someone passing by “L’s” work station.

·        Once the keys were back to “L”, the obedient and heroic “M” cuts open the new lock which was put by the key maker in replacement of the old lock as he thought that existing one was an old lock.

·        Total loss to Miss saving brains “L”- old lock 150+ new lock- 150.

Laughing at my own fate I learnt that whatever has to go will go some or the other way no matter how much brilliant you are.

I was broken into more laughter when the security comes and explains about the struggle of “M” in breaking the helmet lock.

This is how my chronicle of "Decoding the helmet lock" ends.

Ranju....

Again the home is empty!

The day before you came, our home was empty. The day you left us, our home and hearts are empty!!

Your cry was filled as a soothing tune in nook and corner of our home, your little feet was struggling to carry those heavy golden anklets.  Your Barbie doll looks, your big eyes, your tender palms, words fall short to describe you my lovely daughter.

The joy me and your mother shared when we brought you home is inexplicable. Each sentence was started and ended with you in it. Your naughtiness, the way you made us run around you. How much should I cry to get back those irreplaceable moments? You just took all those and much more awaited happiness in just a blink. What made you think that we deserve this? Oh dear, oh dear!!

Your mother is thrown apart today. How will I console her? What will I console her as, when for sure I know you are not coming back to us? What else does she need apart from you in her life? There is no hope that I can build in her. I wish you understood the situation I am in. Being a man doesn't mean I am strong enough to handle this. Oh dear, oh dear!!

Hope you are seeing us beg for an answer, look at our thirst to know about your hard decision. I want to steal that moment of haste. I want to go back and give a solution for that question which made you end your life. Time has flown and will never come back. Though we dint give birth to you, we thought of a life only with you. Oh dear, Oh dear!!

As parents we always wish you the best wherever you are. Waiting for the day which answers your misery. Only thing we know is to hold on to your memory. Rest in peace you beautiful soul. Oh dear, Oh dear!!

Again the home is empty, again our hearts are empty!!

PS: Dedicated to all those who are suffering because of teen suicides, without even knowing the reason for their loved ones death.

We hardly get a life filled with happiness. Live life to the fullest. Explore, Enjoy and Challenge life. Never kill it yourself.

Image courtesy: Google.

Do you feel the same???

It is a strange feeling; I am portraying almost all the emotions on the emoticons list of facebook status bar. Generally, I am a crazy kid but imagine with all these emotions put together, who can handle me? Okay, Okay, I am coming to the reason behind it.

The reason for the madness inside me is a Man*(* I am not a Men hating woman and this post is not about cribbing about Men) this is about Love, Love this Man gave me. And the reason behind all these intolerable madness is the feeling of Love in me. Yes!!! I am bitten by a bug called Love and tell me who can survive this?  I am yet to find an answer.

I am pampered like a baby, I get scolding’s for my naughtiness, he builds strength in me; he is the only one I can remember when I am really afraid to step ahead with a decision. Basically, he taught me what Love is!!!

There were days when I had bad mood swings because of which my voice was on par with the roof but a glance of his calm eyes made me melt. When I was ill he was my doctor and was my medication, when I was not sleepy his lullaby was my sleeping pill, this makes me wish him on a Mother’s day for his pure and motherly heart. Basically, he is my world!!!

There are many instances of me playing pranks and irritating others for which he punished me and made me learn right things. I hate underestimating myself, but though he is in that heights which I cannot reach even when I try my heart out, he is so simple and makes me feel I own him. Basically, he is everything to me!!!

Suddenly today, I miss this Man. I know how terrible feeling it is, to miss the one whom you compare with Divine, without whom you can’t even imagine a second, without whom you feel all other fantasies in world are not yours. Am I the only one fallen for this magical world called love? Or, Do you feel the same towards anyone?

I proudly say my prince charming is one in million. Hope you have also got the same kind of person in your lives too. It might be your Father, Brother, Husband or your close friend. Find, treasure and lock them in your love. Never let them go.

• ·        fight and Forget
• ·        argue and Laugh
• ·        be sad and Forgive.

Enjoy being loved, Love unconditionally. What goes around comes around.

A colourful world untouched!!!

World tours, cars, jewellery’s, eateries and the count goes on. Dreams are many; we all live to fulfil one or the other dreams each day and aiming to accomplish such dreams, are no selfishness.

I feel blessed as I belong to the pool of dreamers but somewhere in the corner of my thoughts, I had a blockage.

Eyes are the witness of what’s happening around. I was very proud of being praised to have beautiful eyes; until one day when I realised that’s not it.

Everything is not seen, it’s felt too- A bright day in my life, I decided to pledge my eyes. Samarthanam is an amazing organisation (http://samarthanam.org/) which dragged me towards its noble deed. A melodious song invited me in. I turned to witness all the children and staff of samarthanam sing it with their heart and soul. They all were physically challenged but they were capable to challenge the challenge.

Learning is never-ending; it’s just learnt in different times and from different set of people- A staff of samarthanam guided me to take the stairs to submit my pledge form. He told a girl nearby to instruct me the way. This girl had lost her eyes since birth and she dint even have an idea how the stairs looked. With a happy face she asked me to take 8 steps, then turn right; take 4 steps, towards your left you find the office room. I was touched and tears rolled down, but only go was to accept the fact and do the good what I could do.

A colourful world untouched- Being thanked for pledging my eyes by all the kids who were desperate to see the world through my eyes, I slipped into a thought, a world of theirs which is unadulterated,  which had never seen violence. I wanted this world to be like that in real, which becomes an irony or this cannot be thought in the wildest of dreams too. Its better that few things are left untouched.

Feel and Sense- Many things in life are felt or sensed and are less witnessed. The joy in holding in your loved one’s hand, the joy in feeling the tender kiss on your forehead when you are heavy hearted, the joy in hugging your dearies, the joy you see when you make someone smile cannot be measured. Take a moment and feel yourself. Be happy for being blessed for whatever you have and thank almighty for all those joy he has given you till date and ask him for more such joy in the future.

I acknowledge what Helen Keller said- It is a terrible thing to see and have no vision. Have an eye which has a vision to dream big and to achieve what you have dreamt.

I have a life too….

Getting married? Let’s consider it a Yes!! So, what thought flashes you when you think about this? Two people one life, bonding for life, Togetherness, Love, excitement and more? I have the same thoughts too. 

I was really excited when my wedding was fixed. Life started changing a bit and the change was good. I became we, single cup of coffee became 1 by 2 and a sense of share came in, without even noticing. I started enjoying this change in me.

From my childhood till date, I have been a person who welcomes new in life. I like making friends; I talk to lot of people unknown to me. So, getting adjusted to my new life was not so difficult. Still, being a girl who is brought up very independently I faced many funny hurdles which I tackled in a clever way. So ladies, fasten your seat belts to hear my way of tackling things, this might help many of you out there reading this post!!! If these ideas of mine work out for you, then you can make your valuable contribution to my fund. (Contribution accepted in the form of your joy of reading only).

Let me first begin with few thumb rules which I follow:

• Never say no to what others tell. (means, do whatever you want to do, after all its your life)

• There are many who talk nonsense. (means, act deaf, your skills will improve)

• There will be advices and suggestions from many. ( means, be selfish, take only those which helps you)

• Try not to bother your guy with all the nonsense you are facing. (means, he is used to these kind of nonsense and he cannot make out any difference. Suffer in silence and learn dealing with it)

The Requisitions:

1. Pre wedding requisitions: These are the days where you will have to accept maximum requests from many, be prepared. It starts from head and never think toe is the ending point!! The list goes on and on. Few of the requests I got were: Pierce your nose; I am okay you wearing whatever you want, BUT……, following this god would seem better than following the one you are following now, you look good when your hair is tied etc. ( Beware: All these requests are meant to be treated as ORDERS). Listening was the only way out for me and I heard voices in my mind answering like this. 

• HELLO, I am planning to pierce my navel!!

• Thank god, I am wearing!! 

• I am Spiritual, not Religious!!

• I have been looking myself since I was born; I know what looks better on me!!

Smiling at all the voice-overs in my head, I nodded for all the requisitions and till date I follow my thumb rule- Listen to what others say!! Do, whatever you wana do, after all it’s your life.

2. Post wedding requisitions: These are those orders which you will be forced to follow. But, try and workout to minimize your efforts in following these. Few out of many requests (orders) which were enforced on me were: Try and visit all the relatives whenever you find time, Wear the attire what I tell, early to bed and early to rise etc. Again, listening was the only way out for me and I still hear lots of voices in my mind answering like this.

• I get only two days in a week, I prefer spending it for myself. I don’t like spoiling others time too; even they have the same amount of time what I have.

• Again, thank god, I am wearing something.

• Even I am a workaholic like the other person with me. When you understand him, understand me.

Again I continued smiling and till now I follow my thumb rule- Listen to what others say!! Do, whatever you wana do, after all it’s your life and the requests/ orders have never stopped and it will never be!! The more requests/ orders I get, the more I improve my skills and patience.

Few things before I conclude:

• I thank all those who improved my skills and patience by requesting/ ordering me. Don’t worry, I’ll never change.

• The attitude of mine is not negative towards those who tell me something. I am always open for new and good learning’s. 

I conclude with lots of smiles, positive attitude and I am always welcome for more ad-hoc requests/ orders. But, please keep in mind, when I don’t bother you, don’t bother me!! Coz, I have a life too…..

 

A Silent Journey

I bustled to a nearby crowd and exclaimed!! Excuse me, is this where the Bus stops…?? After I got a satisfying nod from the crowd, I settled down.  I looked all around and realised, oh dear!! How well I have become a slave of luxury. To be precise, after my 10^th Class I had never travelled in a bus. I dint know how many bus routes had changed and how many buses itself changed. I can never forget the days when me and my friend walked hand in hand till the bus stop and felt sad to part from there for our respective homes daily…

I dint know when luxury started bossing me or I have no idea when all this fun of travelling in a public transport ended. The reasons might be many- tuitions, college, traffic, time management and many more but I am not proud to say I don’t use public transport any-more  This day in my life bought me back all those lovely memories and courtesy for the same is my bike which broke down this morning.

• A silent speech which imprinted the word “Love”- As I was waiting for the bus to come and as my creative thirst was looking for water called a story, I saw a couple beside me, they were talking non-stop but no one else in the crowd were annoyed or I guess, no one knew that there were strong conversation going on between them. I felt so sorry to see the couple who were deaf and dumb and couldn’t shout out their love. Though I couldn’t get to know all that they were discussing, the shyness in her, showed the colours of their love.  They departed as their bus arrived and this situation made me think that, though we are blessed with speech sometimes we never express what we want to express to someone who you really love. We unknowingly hurt them without expressing our true feelings.  People, make a point to express what you really feel… Many things could be sorted out and many more surprises will be on your way when you express…

• A silent nod which filled my stomach- With a “lesson learnt” feeling, I rushed in to the packed bus, a while later I managed to grab a seat. A famous saying says “Hunger can make you do anything on earth”. I was damn hungry and I knew the travel time would be too much to tolerate the devil inside my stomach.  Unfortunately my bag was empty. I was feeling terribly hungry. God!! A fragrance of a cookie bag hit my nose (you can imagine cheese fragrance hitting jerry’s nose in Tom and Jerry) and this was too tempting. I am a kid who is really scared and was trained not to ask or take food from strangers. That fear in me made me tolerate for a while but NO, I could not. As I turned towards the cookie bag and the way I was staring it by my killer looks my tolerance level decreased and I suddenly begged can I have cookies please??? At the same time, seeing my hunger popping out of my eyes she asked, please have some cookies!! Without much ado, I grabbed a few cookies and ate like crazy. Once my stomach was filled, we cared to introduce ourselves and I got an amazing person as a friend. I still owe you much more than cookies Anusha!! “Hunger made me beg” but I earned a true caring hand which always stays with me for life. Always share, Sharing is caring.

That’s how mesmerizing my day was. I saw a silent love, I saw a caring hand, I could speak to a special friend on phone for long hours, for that matter I could write this piece only because this travel made me concentrate on many such minute things which is impossible when I ride. Coz, only thing I concentrate when I am riding is the way I am going and my co-riders who often scare me.

Thank god my bike broke down or else, I would have never seen such a delightful day.