Friday, 26 August 2011

I wonder???

I go crazy when I see you,
Is it love or is it something else?
Well, if it’s something else, what could it be?
Until I get an answer…..
I Wonder. How could I stay without you?

I feel I am just like you,
I realise I am different the very next moment.
Do you have the same feeling when you stare into my eyes with that killing glance?
Until I get an answer…..
I Wonder. How could I stay without you?

I cry for you, when you are not around
I ignore you on purpose when you are there.
I abuse you, I open up with you
And wait for a quick reaction from you….
Until I get an answer…..
I Wonder. How could I stay without you?

I always talk nonsense in front of you,
But I can’t lie, even behind your back.
Is your patience and silence making me do this?
Until I get an answer…..
I really wonder. How could I stay without you?


Wednesday, 17 August 2011

A blank canvas….

What’s on my mind today? Oops, I am blank…….

It’s about me that I assume things a lot. What if? Can I? Should I? Will I? Ah, people think I am sceptic but that’s what haunts me, because I feel I am not that. Who cares about what I am? It’s generally that what others think about me. I do things to please others; I wear things to look good to others. But where I am lost in this space is an interrogation I am battling to myself. 

I need to do something for myself to solve this examination of mine, was a new idea which struck my mind. So, now my master mind which people call sceptic mind started thinking about a solution. Though all the assumptions came in, I continued scratching my idea deeper.

I don’t know what crashed in me; I went and bought a blank canvas, stepped out of my home, went to a nearby school. As I knew the school people and the children very well, I could talk to them for a while. I asked children to do something on the blank canvas. The time I left, I got a colourful painting which had flowers, animals, chocolates and all innocent things which were expected. I then realised life is so colourful. My day was beautiful and filled with all colours that day.

Next day, same blank canvas but I thought of trying with different set of people. As it was a weekend, I went to meet my friends. After all the Hi’s and Hello’s, I gave my canvas and told them to do something with it. Then I understood, people think a lot to do something on it, unlike the kids. Why don’t we trust someone and do what they tell. It’s just because we think a lot and start making sense out of every non sense. Finally I got my filled in canvas. Guess, what it was by the end of the day? A stylish hand bag, jewellery designs, funky party atmosphere, their signatures etc. etc. painted on it. Hmmm, I got that people will not remain kids anymore because they are not kids anymore and they become self-obsessed after a point of time, may be even I was one among them.

My exploration on the blank canvas continued, I met a group of friends who were in their “mid-life”, gave my canvas and told them to do something on it. My day ended with seeing a lot like, World tour, well settled children to take care of them, lot of bank balance etc. I got that there was lot of things on my canvas but winded up with a word called “Expectation”. 

Keeping all three canvases in an order I tried drawing a conclusion from them. Oh, pictures say so many things. It’s the same person whose mind-set changes. Of course, it has to change. Why should it change? Because, if you become an adult and start thinking the way a kid thinks, people won’t accept it. And being a kid if you think like an adult people say, look he is over matured for his age. So how should I be? Finally my assumptions didn’t stop chasing a huge set of questions but what I made out of it was, we live in this world more for others and less for ourselves. And for me, my battle with the canvas ended with the kids leaving a thought saying, it will be difficult for people around you to accept a kid when you are grown up. But never let a childlike heart in you to ever die. It’s about being childlike and not childish.


Wednesday, 3 August 2011

On a lazy day……

On a lazy day, when I peeped out of my little window…..

I saw a little girl asking her poor parents an expensive chocolate; they managed to fulfil her wish….

I saw a young girl asking for rich attire in her wardrobe, they bought it with great pain without showing that pain in them….

I saw the girl as a grown up and asking for her true love.

What happened? Darkness filled around, pains and frustrations came, sorrows danced…..

All mixed feelings were from the same hands, which had once reached the heights to cover the pain.

When the bleeding hands can manage the worldly attractions, ignoring the pain, why can’t it manage the sweet love?

This was the question on my mind at the end of my day and my lazy day ended with a question mark which continued unanswered….

From a lazy day again a fresh day but with an unanswered question……