Wednesday, 14 November 2012

Swear to DRUNK I am not GOD

What a beautiful feeling it is. Earth is above and sky under. I now Swear to DRUNK I am not GOD… and this tells you guys how stable I am!!

I was all decked up to go to an event in a seven star hotel. Satin top, formal skirt, elegant stilettos and perfect makeup. As Carrie Bradshaw says “I fell in love with myself”.

Oh boy!! What an amazing hotel it was. Words fall short to explain its beauty. The marble flooring, Golden ceiling, well dressed staff who gave a warm welcome to the participants of the event. “As I said, words really fall short to explain its beauty.” No wonder I fell in love with the wash room too.

Event had begun with the big music and the hot hosts had arrived on the ramp with their sweet and witty talks. They had a plan for the evening and the competitions were conducted to give away the best and expensive prizes.

As the admirer in me was admiring the hotels beauty, I entered the venue a tad late. Because of which I had my table at the end. Yes, I was a back bencher again.

All my life I was a back bencher and this was not a big deal for me. I sat on my table which was surrounded by beautiful ladies. Not pushing myself to a corner I started speaking to them socially and I discovered that they were all ‘Beauty with Brains’. I hate underestimating myself so; include me in this list please.

The hunks on stage conducted competitions and the best in that particular competition got an expensive prize and that was a phone which easily costs 50,000/-.  To be precise there were three competitions organised for this evening and of course I was aiming at the big prize.

To be frank, I am not a fan of expensive phones but I am a biggest fan of expensive phones. Confused?? Hmmmm “I am a biggest fan, when it comes for free of cost.” I would plead my husband to buy gold rather than an expensive cell phone but again my life’s thumb rule “bag those which comes free of cost”. Stop judging me guys; it’s good to be selfish.

Two competitions down the back benchers were not at all concentrated. My hope of winning the bigge was deteriorating. Nevertheless, I was happy. Happy because, I could taste most lavish wines here. I was already two red wines down. Excitement was still on; I badly wanted to go on stage.

I behave better, when I am drunk that’s what my fellas say to me. I just did it after my third glass of wine, grabbing all my courage from within, I directly walked near the ramp and stood there raising my hand to pick me as a contestant. And guess what? I was on stage.

The handsome host announced my name. Here she is the last eager contestant of the evening for our last competition and for my good luck it was a Quiz. Ha!! Wonderful, happier I was coz, I suck at quiz. This was divided into three segments again where first round will be a food+tech round, second round a complete tech round and third round a complete food round.

Intelligent me, scored a big zero in first two rounds and again my hope was killed. Happiness still remains because of the three red wines inside me. Final round was a food tasting round and I was all enthusiastic to eat at least. It was a segment where we had to taste the soup and write the ingredients of the soup. All the wine inside me made me write fifteen ingredients.

The chef was shocked to know the extras which were not even put to make any kind of dish in this world. But because of the big listing, I got many ingredients right in it. I won the competition. I could not believe myself. I had to believe the thing which gave courage to me. Thanks a lot Red wine.

I was the proud owner of the most expensive phone. I hate myself sometimes for being drunk on that amazing evening. But again, I did not even guess in my wildest of dreams I would be on stage winning it.
The cameras flashed and I was crowned. Still, damn I was drunk.

Next day pushing my hangover aside I see a ravishing expensive phone beside me. I was angry and yelled at my husband. “Hey, you know I don’t like expensive electronics. Oh! Dear, why do you waste your money on these? Instead buy me gold.”

He Laughs aloud, hugs me and tells “My Drunken Monkey, Last evening you won it in the event we had been to.” This head spinning win of mine ends with a big laughter.

Now, it’s time to discover my new phone.

Statutory warning: Drinking is injurious to health; this is a fiction and please don’t try this. Let’s keep fun for fun sake. Get high in a comfortable way!! Hick hick!!

PS: Title courtesy, my new Fastrack Teevirus watch.