Wednesday, 17 August 2011

A blank canvas….


What’s on my mind today? Oops, I am blank…….

It’s about me that I assume things a lot. What if? Can I? Should I? Will I? Ah, people think I am sceptic but that’s what haunts me, because I feel I am not that. Who cares about what I am? It’s generally that what others think about me. I do things to please others; I wear things to look good to others. But where I am lost in this space is an interrogation I am battling to myself. 

I need to do something for myself to solve this examination of mine, was a new idea which struck my mind. So, now my master mind which people call sceptic mind started thinking about a solution. Though all the assumptions came in, I continued scratching my idea deeper.

I don’t know what crashed in me; I went and bought a blank canvas, stepped out of my home, went to a nearby school. As I knew the school people and the children very well, I could talk to them for a while. I asked children to do something on the blank canvas. The time I left, I got a colourful painting which had flowers, animals, chocolates and all innocent things which were expected. I then realised life is so colourful. My day was beautiful and filled with all colours that day.

Next day, same blank canvas but I thought of trying with different set of people. As it was a weekend, I went to meet my friends. After all the Hi’s and Hello’s, I gave my canvas and told them to do something with it. Then I understood, people think a lot to do something on it, unlike the kids. Why don’t we trust someone and do what they tell. It’s just because we think a lot and start making sense out of every non sense. Finally I got my filled in canvas. Guess, what it was by the end of the day? A stylish hand bag, jewellery designs, funky party atmosphere, their signatures etc. etc. painted on it. Hmmm, I got that people will not remain kids anymore because they are not kids anymore and they become self-obsessed after a point of time, may be even I was one among them.

My exploration on the blank canvas continued, I met a group of friends who were in their “mid-life”, gave my canvas and told them to do something on it. My day ended with seeing a lot like, World tour, well settled children to take care of them, lot of bank balance etc. I got that there was lot of things on my canvas but winded up with a word called “Expectation”. 

Keeping all three canvases in an order I tried drawing a conclusion from them. Oh, pictures say so many things. It’s the same person whose mind-set changes. Of course, it has to change. Why should it change? Because, if you become an adult and start thinking the way a kid thinks, people won’t accept it. And being a kid if you think like an adult people say, look he is over matured for his age. So how should I be? Finally my assumptions didn’t stop chasing a huge set of questions but what I made out of it was, we live in this world more for others and less for ourselves. And for me, my battle with the canvas ended with the kids leaving a thought saying, it will be difficult for people around you to accept a kid when you are grown up. But never let a childlike heart in you to ever die. It’s about being childlike and not childish.

Ranju….

5 comments:

  1. Supremely well written...this small post is a book in itself...so much information stuffed up in such a simple way...!!! good job Ranju..!!

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  2. Very well written... I liked the summary "we live in this world more for others and less for ourselves"... This is exactly what we do everyday!

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  3. About Blog:
    Wow Awesome concept you have pictured, love the way you have put the words and thoughts flow. - Great work keep writing.

    About Concept:
    It very good to try and live for yourself so that you are pleasing yourself, but do you think that's all that matters to you end of the day, I would rather be happy being and living for others end of the day I can look back and see some joy, smile and tear I have left on others face. Life is beautiful as it is appreciate it and enjoy the differences is what I feel.

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  4. @Sethu- Nice comment Seth's, As usual its so nice that u read my blog at the earliest and comment on it.... Thanks so much for your thoughts, its always valued. Will try writing more....
    @Praveen- Thanks for agreeing with me, everybody wont dare accepting the fact, Thanks again.
    @Ramya- Thanks for differentiation Akka, Loved the way you have expressed. I agree that living for others will always leave back joy but living for ourselves will make us spend some time with the soul. By the end of the day we live for others I don't de-nay that but we somehow in that battle live for ourselves is what I feel.....

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  5. Superbly written :).. loved the line "we live in this world more for others and less for ourselves".. keep writing :)

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