What’s on my mind today? Oops, I am blank…….
It’s about me that I assume things a lot. What if? Can I? Should I? Will I? Ah, people think I am sceptic but that’s what haunts me, because I feel I am not that. Who cares about what I am? It’s generally that what others think about me. I do things to please others; I wear things to look good to others. But where I am lost in this space is an interrogation I am battling to myself.
I need to do something for myself to solve this examination of mine, was a new idea which struck my mind. So, now my master mind which people call sceptic mind started thinking about a solution. Though all the assumptions came in, I continued scratching my idea deeper.
I don’t know what crashed in me; I went and bought a blank canvas, stepped out of my home, went to a nearby school. As I knew the school people and the children very well, I could talk to them for a while. I asked children to do something on the blank canvas. The time I left, I got a colourful painting which had flowers, animals, chocolates and all innocent things which were expected. I then realised life is so colourful. My day was beautiful and filled with all colours that day.
Next day, same blank canvas but I thought of trying with different set of people. As it was a weekend, I went to meet my friends. After all the Hi’s and Hello’s, I gave my canvas and told them to do something with it. Then I understood, people think a lot to do something on it, unlike the kids. Why don’t we trust someone and do what they tell. It’s just because we think a lot and start making sense out of every non sense. Finally I got my filled in canvas. Guess, what it was by the end of the day? A stylish hand bag, jewellery designs, funky party atmosphere, their signatures etc. etc. painted on it. Hmmm, I got that people will not remain kids anymore because they are not kids anymore and they become self-obsessed after a point of time, may be even I was one among them.
My exploration on the blank canvas continued, I met a group of friends who were in their “mid-life”, gave my canvas and told them to do something on it. My day ended with seeing a lot like, World tour, well settled children to take care of them, lot of bank balance etc. I got that there was lot of things on my canvas but winded up with a word called “Expectation”.
Keeping all three canvases in an order I tried drawing a conclusion from them. Oh, pictures say so many things. It’s the same person whose mind-set changes. Of course, it has to change. Why should it change? Because, if you become an adult and start thinking the way a kid thinks, people won’t accept it. And being a kid if you think like an adult people say, look he is over matured for his age. So how should I be? Finally my assumptions didn’t stop chasing a huge set of questions but what I made out of it was, we live in this world more for others and less for ourselves. And for me, my battle with the canvas ended with the kids leaving a thought saying, it will be difficult for people around you to accept a kid when you are grown up. But never let a childlike heart in you to ever die. It’s about being childlike and not childish.