Note to self : that I’m strong and death doesn’t scare me anymore.
Was I being too affirmative? Did I really like living a life for a day? Did I start to enjoy it? Oh wait, it’s almost time to die again. See you soon with a different story and hopefully with a different person.
“By now I have lived with more than ten versions of myself. How, do you ask? Because I am literally living different versions of self daily”.
“Oh! You have started to use great pickup lines Phione, Did you say you die daily and wake up in the same party and I got to believe you”? “Raj, I’m not lying to you, I literally die daily and wake up in this party to die again”. “Oh yes, obviously you do. I have been pranked whole of my life and you little miss can’t get away with this one. What have you been smoking? I’m walking away from you, little weirdo”. 12AM Raj walks away and the lights fade on me.
Note to self: Few people never trust you, don’t try and explain.Period.
“By now I have lived with more than ten versions of myself. How, do you ask? Because I am literally living different versions of self daily. I die everyday and wake up in this party to eventually to die again”. Granny nodded with a smile and told, ”have some aspirin your headache will go away”. “Granny, I have been saying something to you which is serious, have you come across this kind of situation anytime in your entire life till now? I’m suffering. I’m done being positive”. She smiles and hands over an aspirin and walks away. “Don’t leave, I’m serious, hello! Please”. Before I go, a quick note to self: People might listen to you, they might advice you as well but not every problem has one same solution. You got to find out what suits your situation. Listen but choose wisely.
“By now I have lived with more than ten versions of myself. How, do you ask? Because I am literally living....Dan walks towards me, hugs me, kisses me and stops me from continuing. “Oh, am I hallucinating Dan”? “His eyes meets mine, he gives that optimistic hope with those bright eyes of his. He makes me sit next to him, he holds my hand”.
“I don’t want to die today”. I look up and say, “Dan stop here, I did not have any fear of dying but now, I don’t want to let go of you. You are the only one who has shown some love towards me and have told me that I have a medical condition and promised to help me. I don’t want you to go away too, before it’s midnight and I fall asleep and wake up to not find you, be a good memory and walk away right now”. “He never left my side, he said he was sure to help me. He also said, tonight if you go and not meet me at the doctors tomorrow, come find me near this fire place”. 12am I am gone again but with a heavy heart this time.
“By now I have lived with more than ten versions of myself. How, do you ask? Because I am literally living different versions of self daily but I’m happy today”. Do you ask why? Because I’m near this fire place with Dan who has taken great care of me and we celebrate our 25th anniversary today. What a great party it has been.
A happy note for self: there are few and particularly that one person who never leaves your side no matter what. Trust them, love them unconditionally.
A quick tip for life: Mental health is as bad and as suffocating to the person suffering as physical health is. Don’t live with it. Talk about it, spread awareness and remember to love beyond words.
PS: Storyline Inspired by Russian Doll series on Netflix but none of the above incidents are related to the said series.
Image courtesy: Google image.
Ranjana...
